Hey Kids!
Spira is giddy like a schoolgirl. Would you like to know why? Well, Spira will tell you. It is ON! Much like early-’80s hit video game Donkey Kong, it is ON! I know that there are thousands of new Spira followers out there who may not know of what I am speaking, so please allow me to expound. Are you familiar with Gino’s? Of course not. If you were, you wouldn’t be reading this, you would be at Gino’s enjoying a delicious Absolut Martini along with an Italian Beef with the chips in a bowl. The bowl makes them taste better. You don’t understand, but you will.
There are less than 24 hours until Spira and his crew descend upon Gino’s. I am pumped, don’t get me wrong, but the staff at Gino’s are even more excited than I am. Spira’s arrival is the highlight of their week! I wonder sometimes what they even do when I’m not there…
Speaking of hitting the clubs, what is with all the babes hitting on Spira? I’m not even doing anything! Don’t they know that Spira is happily married? Sometimes I feel bad, but also, I don’t blame them… Have you seen me lately? I’ve definitely been working out. You can’t just go to Sam’s Club and get a six-pack like this. You’ve got to burn it to earn it!
That’s all for tonight, Spira Fans. I’m going to walk Larry, enjoy a High Life, hook up the old C-PAP and then get some shut-eye!
Spira, out!
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