Spira’s Diary: December 19, 2015

Dear Diary,

What did the kids buy Spira for Christmas this year?  Now that Hanukkah 2015 is in the books, Spira has shifted his focus to Santa, reindeer and angry shoppers.  Seriously though, what will I get this year?  Spira loves gifts.  Would someone please just get it over with and buy Gino’s for me?  That’s all I really want, and it’s really not that expensive, in the grand scheme of things.  If you buy me the bar, I will let you work bartending shifts on Friday Nights!  WHOA!

This week, I met one of my biggest fans.  His name is Chris Watkins.  It must have been so exciting to meet me… I wonder if he has had a chance to reflect on the experience yet.  I bet he was blown away by how tall and handsome I am in real life, and also how knowledgeable I am about current events.  Why don’t more people know about Spira?  I bet Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders would love me.  We all have so much in common and could carry on fascinating conversations on topics like Gino’s, the Chicago Cubs and what happens to caterpillars after they make those little cocoons.  That would be the best.

See you later, I’m going to go punch Eddie and Nick in the arm!

Love,
Spira