Upon hearing about the stock market crash and ensuing Great Depression, Spira decided to traverse the mighty Pacific Ocean to the United States of America. He fashioned a sail boat from bamboo and Bondo and set out for the New World. Along the way, Spira made landfall on Guam, where he taught the locals the art of the drum solo.… Read more →
Author: Ryan Taylor
Spira History: Lesson 2
No one knows the exact details of the origins of Spira. After all, how could one sufficiently explain the genesis of such greatness? Most scholars agree that Spira was born in the region where the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers meet, the area thought to have been the location of the Garden of Eden. Raised by the fiercest of wolves, Spira… Read more →
Spira History: Lesson 1
Many people have attempted to assassinate Spira over the years. In 2011, the North Koreans took sniper shots at Spira through the windows of the Briefing Room, but Spira was able to dodge the sniper fire with Matrix-like dexterity. Just to be safe, he hid in the office for 3 months and the North Koreans presumed they had succeeded. They… Read more →
Spira Facts
You remember what Lenin said, “Spira is the opiate of the masses!”
I’m sorry, man… It’s a Spira thing.
Then I sold my wife to the black market…
Are we the only ones who know about this?!
Do you think I’m losing my hair?
Overheard at the Local Grocery Store
“Hey mom, Tom Spira said that if i put Drano into my Ovaltine chocolate milk, that it would make me grow up healthy and strong! Can I have some?” Read more →