Category: inSpirational Stories

  After the deaths of Yip Man and Bruce Lee, Spira faced an onslaught of attention from the press and was the subject of constant inquiries from the CIA, FBI and KGB.  Spira managed to stay out of the public eye by covertly joining NASA, in hopes of establishing a settlement on the Moon. Upon his discovery that the Apollo… Read more →

As the ’60s wore on and the Beatles became less dependent on Spira’s inspiration and S2-level coaching, Spira again found a new hobby. He joined a local country club as a means to imbibe a few Tom Collins before noon, and was invited to a game of tennis by a fellow member. Spira not only fell in love with the… Read more →

  Disillusioned by the industry, Spira left advertising in the late ’50s and began searching for new pursuits. A lifelong clarinet player, Spira fell in love with the tone and style of the electric guitar. Spira began authoring songs, but his aversion to public press and recognition led him to recruit some young chaps from Liverpool to perform his music.… Read more →

As the United States entered a golden age of prosperity in the 1950s, Spira looked to expand his horizons. He founded an advertising agency on Madison Avenue in 1952 and quickly rose to prominence.  While not officially recognized by the show’s creators, industry insiders are confident that the Mad Men character Don Draper is based on Spira’s exploits as an… Read more →

  After the war, Spira returned to the United States and settled in Manhattan. Despite many lucrative offers, Spira declined to play first base for the Yankees. His above-average height drew interest from a newly-founded professional basketball team known as the Knickerbockers. Spira’s curiosity got the best of him, and he joined the team. Among many contributions to the game,… Read more →

Few people know that Spira is a connoisseur of fine coffees from around the world. In the late ’30s he acquired a large coffee plantation in Colombia where he commanded an army of 100 local farmers. Spira would roast his own beans and then grind them into a fine powder with his bare hands. One morning, while enjoying his morning… Read more →

To celebrate his landmark 10th birthday, Spira’s friends surprised him and took him bowling. Spira invented, and later patented, the 7-10 split.  The 1930s progressed and, while Spira continued to be a successful businessman, the USA was still mired in economic decay. President Franklin D. Roosevelt sought out the wealthy, young Spira and made him a top economic advisor.  Spira… Read more →

Upon hearing about the stock market crash and ensuing Great Depression, Spira decided to traverse the mighty Pacific Ocean to the United States of America.  He fashioned a sail boat from bamboo and Bondo and set out for the New World.  Along the way, Spira made landfall on Guam, where he taught the locals the art of the drum solo.… Read more →

No one knows the exact details of the origins of Spira. After all, how could one sufficiently explain the genesis of such greatness? Most scholars agree that Spira was born in the region where the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers meet, the area thought to have been the location of the Garden of Eden. Raised by the fiercest of wolves, Spira… Read more →

Many people have attempted to assassinate Spira over the years.  In 2011, the North Koreans took sniper shots at Spira through the windows of the Briefing Room, but Spira was able to dodge the sniper fire with Matrix-like dexterity.  Just to be safe, he hid in the office for 3 months and the North Koreans presumed they had succeeded.  They… Read more →

“Hey mom, Tom Spira said that if i put Drano into my Ovaltine chocolate milk, that it would make me grow up healthy and strong!  Can I have some?” Read more →

You may be asking yourself, “who is this amazingly worldly and handsome gentlemen everyone is talking about?”. Tom Spira is more than that… He’s the epitome of human existence. Today, he may be taking a break from his time as a secret agent, but trust us when we say — Spira is more than meets the eye. Read more →

Don’t forget to drop by Spira’s basement Friday night.  The Miller High-Life will be flowing and the Drop Cloths will be jamming. Read more →