Dear Diary,
It is so not on. SO not on. Today is the day the kids call “hump day” and your old pal Spira is struggling. I must say that it is better than Monday which, as we all know, is the absolute furthest thing from Friday. You can’t even look at Gino’s on Mondays! You just can’t!
In other news, Hanukkah starts on December 24 this year, which is totally a result of The Man trying to assimilate my people into the Christmas culture! What are you getting for Spira this year? I’m so excited for the eight days worth of gifts that you will all bestow upon me. You can ship them to me, but I would rather that you present the gifts to me in person along with a Keynote presentation detailing your thought process.
Ryan and Roy are trying to persuade Spira to come out to The Suburbs. They are plying me with promises of paved roads, electricity and, in certain locations, organic wifi internet connections. I am wary of this strange land, and not sure if my ’94 Saturn can handle the rocky terrain and errant gunfire that I hear is common in their land. What if Spira never makes it back to the city? So many people would be disappointed. Especially John and Dean.
Spira needs your input and participation! Should I go out to the suburbs??
Love,
Spira