Dear Diary, It’s supposed to snow tonight. Are you even serious? Spira is not ready for this. To make matters worse, the Weather Channel is reporting a “wintry mix”. What does that even mean?  It sounds so playful and fun, but in reality it means that you can’t see while you’re driving and you accidentally end up in your neighbor’s… Read more →

Hey Kids! Spira is giddy like a schoolgirl.  Would you like to know why?  Well, Spira will tell you.  It is ON!  Much like early-’80s hit video game Donkey Kong, it is ON!  I know that there are thousands of new Spira followers out there who may not know of what I am speaking, so please allow me to expound.… Read more →

What can be said about Tom Spira that has not already been written throughout eons of history by the greatest philosophers, theologians and bookies of each generation?  He rules over his domain with an iron fist and cites the leadership influences of Stalin, Napoleon and the Empire carpet guy as the foundations of his supreme reign.  Spira gazes down upon PY and… Read more →

Dear Diary, Putin sent me an email yesterday, and he says, “Hey Spira!  What’s the deal with Seinfeld?  I don’t see the humor.”  Of course he doesn’t get it!  Seinfeld is as American as apple pie, Black Friday and bankruptcy!  He doesn’t understand freedom the way Spira does.  Did you know that the bald eagle is my spirit animal?  It’s a… Read more →

Hey Kids! Spira’s back on the clock and ready to rock – can you even believe it?!  You’re lucky I decided to come back.  Do you even know?  Spira had offers.  They wanted me to come to Guam to star in Back to the Future IV.  Wait – am I allowed to talk about that?  It’s happening, but you didn’t… Read more →

Hey! Spira’s been gone for awhile.  What are people saying about me?  Do they miss Spira?  I know I do…  Spira’s been staying busy though.  You wouldn’t believe how clean my house is.  It’s driving Larry nuts!  He prefers general chaos and disorder.  Sometimes I wonder if he appreciates how expensive his dog food is.  You can’t just walk into a… Read more →

Dear Diary, Minecraft is for losers… You don’t get to kill anybody or blow stuff up.  Spira’s game is Ghost Recon.  It’s where I take over South American governments through covert operations and payoffs.  I can also control elections and bust union formation.  In Minecraft you just build stairs…  I guess some people might enjoy building stairs, but regardless, the graphics… Read more →

Dear Diary, Spira is feeling inspired today!  I’m going to really drill down and get laser-focused on my core competencies, baby!  It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and Spira’s going to win it.  Are you ready to competently seize cross-functional initiatives?  After my coffee this morning, I’m working on a project where I’ll be enthusiastically iterating standardized value across diverse client-centric communities.… Read more →

Dear Diary, What is Spira thinking? It is so cold outside… it is oppressively cold.  And Spira knows a thing or two about oppression. This isn’t Russia!  Spira doesn’t wait in bread lines… Why do people live here?  It’s a frozen hellscape barely fit to sustain human life.  We live on the ice planet Hoth.  That’s right, Spira loves Star Wars.  Watched them… Read more →

Dear Diary, Am I losing my hair? I know it’s hard to see, because I’m so tall, but Spira’s feeling insecure. Roy is always talking about how bald guys are subject to rampant discrimination, but that never happens to Spira!  What the heck? Spira’s got money on the Super Bowl, kids. I know a guy who knows a guy in… Read more →

Dear Diary, Listen, Spira’s not going to name names, but there’s some shenanigans going on today!  Tomfoolery, shady business, underhanded dealings, you know the drill… Someone’s trying to take what belongs to Spira and it’s not gonna fly! I don’t need to tell you what happens when someone double-crosses Spira. They hit the bricks, they get the business, they get… Read more →

Dear Diary, Spira is confused. I’m feeling bloated and am retaining water… I’m happy and sad and frustrated all at the same time. Is there a term for this condition? If so, can they name it after Spira? Are there royalties involved? There are so many questions… Spira needs a plan for the Super Bowl.  Should I hunker down in… Read more →